My October blues.


October has already started, winter is on the verge,  days are getting shorter. I like to think of October as my downtime before the big festival days as they bring the crazy schedules and many social gatherings.

October offers a combo of social,  winter and pre-festive anxiety. It's like buy one get one free offer. 

Jasmine within me.




I am bored and as much as it pains me to say it, I am lonely. I can go an entire day without any socialisation, without a conversation with anyone. I wonder sometimes if I'm invisible.

Feel of heaven.



After my special place(my balcony) gave me creeps for few months(All because of stubble burning and its side effects)... My little heaven is back...

A tag- Just a housewife.




Hello,
I am a woman in early 30's commonly known mostly by the last name of my husband or first name of my son, you pretty guessed it right- yes, I am a homewife...

Wondering why I am giving my weird introduction which has nothing about me but my marital status, a tag "Just a housewife" ?

Few days back, I was sitting in a park watching my son swinging, jumping when someone came and sat next to me. Mother of a sweet little girl, we started chatting and soon she popped the question: "Are you working or...??" she didn't even complete the question as its implied or saying the word housewife is hideous...

I am almost in seventh year of my marriage have a son so this was not the first time I was gonna answer the question. So I said "I am a homemaker and yes I am working." and we just exchanged smiles.

Listening to my own answer I wonder how my answer is totally different from the one I said in my early years of marriage, "No, Just a housewife" and this blog is about all about my decision, the tag I am given and my contrasting statement.

I am a hohshwife or I like to address it as, a homemaker. Homemaker by choice and not by chance...  not because I ain't educated enough or ain't career-minded. I am professionally educated but choose to stay at home for my family.

I have a supporting husband and child who appreciate my work but then there is also the attitude of many others who make me feel as if I am 'wasting' my life by being a home maker.

I was out to attend a puja when someone said, "Why to waste your education, husbands learn to adjust and kids eventually grow, maids are easily available so what's the fuss. Earning means Independence. Why waste your time sitting idle at home. "

I was shocked to hear the statement. If you ask me it was an immature statement coming from a mouth of woman who thinks she is independent and what worse was that she too was a mother. I just looked at the toddler sitting in her lap and her husband standing near the door, I felt sorry for them.

I went into a deep thinking zone, What if the kid in his adulthood chooses his independence over family but still provides monetary help. Will that be OK? I guess not because in elder hood the parents would crave for attention, love and affection more than money from their son, but instead will be fulfilled by the care takers identically like his childhood.

Well I am seriously against the thought of raising kids like pig to slaughter or raising kids on the concept of give and take. I hate it when people promulgate that "we take care of kids and as a perquisites in our elderly days they will support us." It's not like it's wrong but I hate it  specially when it comes from the self-absorbed people who keep changing the definition of independence and responsibilities as per their requirements.

So I just replied with one big spurious smile and not a single word as I didn't want to turn an auspicious occasion into a wrestling ring: ladies vs ladies battle.

According to some people, woman can either be working or a housewife as they frame their question and pass judgements which in itself is a bullshit... because it implies that housewife is ‘not working’ and have all the time free to do as they please... not wanting to do much with life.

After my son turned two the questions on my decision were raised frequently and these perennial questions started bothering me to the extent that I went silent that even my husband noticed and enquired, so I told him about others being judgemental and how their statements affected me, how few words echoed in my head: "waste of education", "maids", "Independence", "sitting idle" "kids".

How comparisons with some "working women" were made who woke up early, and worked through out the day and slept late at night, which dragged me into self-loathing hell.

I remember he gave a ridiculed laugh and said, " You are upset just because some one raised finger on your own choice. It's not your fault but there will always be someone who will disapprove what you do. I believe if you are in happy space things like this should not bother you. Two important things that matter most are, 'What you want' and 'Are you content' . You are doing wonderful, I am happy and appreciate what you do for us. So cheer up and smile."

I looked in his eyes and smiled and no such ridiculous statements bothered me ever.
As for myself, I too ask the same question that whether someone has a job or is a homemaker. But I never pass my judgements as I am always in awe of the women who manage home and office beautifully, I never go on pointing fingers on how the kids and family life suffers, they may not turn their head away but as a matter of fact you cannot give your 100% to everything you do.

Though I am not a perfectionist, I do have slip-up moments but I do understand the fact that it's difficult to work in office with so much pressure and cook after getting home and spend time with kids and make them do their homework.

I have great admiration for all the women who mange job and home just to be a helping hand and even for those who choose career with(not above) family as it's their individual choice. They do what they think is best for them and their family.

But when I (homemaker) decide to do what's best for me and my family, my image is confined to the lazy, bored, passive, weak, sensitive and dependent women often depressed as depicted in television operas, the one who is seen bitching and scheming in the family??

Whereas  career woman is often termed as a wonder woman(just imagine Gal Godot in formal skirt with perfectly sleek hair and laptop in her hand).

I am like, Really!!!

Hard work of a career woman is easily recognisable by her heavy paychecks, appraisals, incentives, lead etc but that doesn't mean the work of a housewife should be undermined just because she  doesn’t go to the office, doesn’t get paid, has no fixed work timing and no boss to report to?

Can any one monetise domestic work by considering each and every task. I don't think so. Every method will fall short. After all, how much monetary value can you put on changing nappies or on soothing a whining child, waiting 24*7 just in case of need and there are no rules governing the services.

I agree that work is not even the 1/2 what it used to be back when there were no refrigerators, microwaves, food processors or dishwashers etc. but if anyone thinks that being a home maker is an easy job, then I should correct you... A homemaker is living the life of many different professionals in her own small way be it a nurse, teacher, caretaker.

How fare is comparing the work of homemaker with the nanny or maid who cleans the house and utensils, does laundry ??

People often say these are petty works as they require no special skill and can be done by any maid available not even in 1/8 of ones handsome salary and some tend to be sarcastic by helping the poor running their family.

I repudiate that I am not independent. If I say am dependent on my husband for money so is he, for food and other household work.

A career woman has dual role to play inside and outside the house... I agree. She just not have a career alone but has to fulfil role of a mother, wife, daughter-in-law etc...etc... So is the role of a man. He too has a job and he too dons many hats, of loving husband, caring father, responsible son and son-in-law...

Man doesn't feel inferior, "Oh! I am too dependent on my wife for food and laundry, I should do it myself."  We talk about woman empowerment, liberalisation... Fine woman were not given the status, value they deserved but things are not same in every house.

Cutting short the discussion, I believe it's the  responsibility of both man and  woman together to establish a happy and prosperous family. So Why see the one side of the see-saw why not consider the other side who's helping in balancing. See-saw is the happiness.

This blog was not about what housewives do or don't. It was an attempt to show appreciation to every woman who listen to their heart and make decisions.

It's all about happiness, What makes you and your loved ones happy...

I am a housewife – one who enjoys everything about it be it the privileges or the hardships.

I am a housewife and am definitely working...





Live life to the fullest.



What is Life??

It's a question that's really not easy to answer.

Joseph Campbell, an American mythologist, writer and lecturer, once said- Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.

Different people define it differently..There is no single definition, quote or theory that can explain it completely. The meaning of life lies in how people perceive it. It can have different meaning to the same people at different times.

When asked about life I got different replies from different people comprising of all age group. Life is... Art, battle, family, happiness, education, love, religion, game, movie, freedom, friends, music, money and so on...

Life is a journey. 

The most important part of life is in fact, the journey. The gap that exits between birth_______death.

Each one has his or her own life-cycle, and this life-cycle is nothing but our daily situation, events, and experiences of life.

Life is experienced outside in the form of situation and events but it’s subtle impressions from inside.

As per me Life is a journey to learn, create, improve and move forward.

What’s the point of life if you die in the same situation you were born?

Due to the unpredictable nature, we have no control over how our story begins or ends. But it obviously has end so it's upon us to make the journey worthwhile...by Living....

Live life to the fullest...
It sounds so good....
Full of positivity....
but is it that simple???

A middle class man who was happy in his life who had all luxuries and was enjoying his life in every way possible but when he saw his neighbor with a brand new car, throwing parties, getting attention in society, pictures of him traveling with bunch of friends and his kids attending top most school. The simple man made the other person an example of perfection and he started chasing his created idea of perfection, forgetting that he already was perfect in his own way. 


Some people make a lasting impression on us. They touch our lives, perhaps making us think or smile, often without even realizing it. What people forget is that Life is what we make of it.

We internally feel so good about the idea that we stop using our brains and start working towards the other persons created idea of perfection. 


Perfection is a jealous master that never allow you to think clearly. It restrains you from ideas and opportunities you want to pursue for yourself. 

We humans, how hard we try, we get stuck in the pinwheel called expectations. 

Having reasonable and healthy expectations of yourself are important for a healthy self-esteem and fulfilling life, they keeps you positive and you feel motivated, I guess without which life will be too dull.

Perfectionism is one such expectation, it is setting standards that are unattainable.

It's kind of obsession...a never ending search...i.e. Perfect job, perfect partner, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect life and as a result become increasingly frustrated when this does not pan out.

Setting standards is vital for progress but unrealistic expectations leads you to a new path called social comparison or competition between yourself and another person that ultimately leads to 
👉Jealousy, a reaction to the threat of losing something you already possess.
👉Envy, a reaction to a something you think you lack.

And, the truth is you cannot be happy and envious at the same time.........

Once you start down that road, you will never, ever find an end. There is an infinite number of categories upon which a person starts comparing clothes, cars, homes, paychecks, Twitter/ Google followers/ Facebook friends, accomplishments, personality traits, appearance, kids and their achievements and so on.......

Comparing with an Infinite number of people who are:

👉 Known, people whom we know "inside out". i.e. best friends, siblings, Cousins...

👉 Never actually known, people who are always at their "best behaviour" i.e. Relatives, Neighbours, Colleagues...

👉 Never met, but still known, people whose life journey is impressive. “appear” to be the perfect life, who "highlight" the best aspects of their life. i.e. some social media friend, role model or film celebrity...

👉People whom we dislike..eg. A person depressed just because his competitor won and got brand-new car.


If I ask a simple question:
What is YOUR definition of living life to the fullest?

I'll not be amazed to see the list of answers totally varying from one other...and why not...Every Individual is unique so why use a same scale to measure two entirely different Individuals?? If you take the strengths of others, and compare them to your weaknesses, how do you think this would make you feel... good???? Definitely not....

Every individual is unique so why not the idea of live life to the fullest be once own depending upon his unique:

  • Personality,
  • Situations,
  • Attitude,
  • Knowledge,
  • Thoughts,
  • Values,
  • Perception,
  • Challenges,
  • Struggles,
  • Choices and
  • Experiences.

Ignoring all these aspects just for the sake of looking and living like someone else is one of the cruelest things one can ever do to oneself. life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.

As humans, it is in our nature to compare but nothing good ever comes from it. 

We can control only one life and that's our own and when we consistently compare, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own. It steal the joy and happiness that is within our reach.

So what living life to the “fullest” looks like is up to us. It is a process that will take whole life to develop and a great life just doesn’t happen – it’s created.

                     *********************

A special place.



I am a person who gets easily drained and exhausted from being around other people. For which I need a restful, comfortable space that can help me recharge myself. In short, I am an introvert who doesn’t like the hustle and bustle around and relish quite time at home. 

Marriage- Work in progress.



Today me and my husband are celebrating our seventh marriage anniversary.

Work in progress is all about working every single day to make marriage work.

Aam-yaadein



People often talk about past and the pleasant memories... In this post even I am going to talk about memories. Here memories aren't the aam (ordinary) ones but my delicious memories of childhood... My mango memories... 

Blessed 13th...



Who is in favour of 13th to be unlucky??

The number 13 is synonymous with bad luck. It's considered unlucky to have 13 guests at a dinner party, many buildings don't have a 13th floor and most people avoid getting married or buying a house on a day marked by this dreaded number.

Well yesterday was 13th and was and can never be unlucky because it was Mother's day...

My Ignored list.





Hollywood and Bollywood are two different worlds within the world, they are completely different cinemas that cater to different audiences. I am not trying to compare them in this blog. I just want to highlight my love for movies be it Bollywood or Hollywood.

This blog is not about the love for main course(Bollywood) although it cannot be missed but concentrates on the dessert (Hollywood) without which the meal is incomplete...